‘I was 55lbs lighter, but I’m happier heavier’: How a woman finally gained self love. . . AFTER giving up the diet

January 30, 2014 3:28 pm Comments Off on ‘I was 55lbs lighter, but I’m happier heavier’: How a woman finally gained self love. . . AFTER giving up the diet Views: 3394

A woman has opened up about how she finally learned to love herself by giving up her diet and focusing on her mental well-being instead.

Life coach Rachel Estapa, now 29, wrote on the Huffington Post that after being ‘big’ all through high school, she joined Weight Watchers and a gym in college and lost an incredible 55lbs in just seven months.

But despite her slimmed down figure, ‘I felt exhausted, disappointed and still unhappy,’ wrote the Somerville, Massachusetts native. ‘And broken that after all my effort, not much beyond the scale changed.

New outlook: Life coach Rachel Estapa, 29, from Somerville, Massachusetts, has opened up about how she finally learned to love herself by giving up her diet and focusing on her mental well-being instead

New outlook: Life coach Rachel Estapa, 29, from Somerville, Massachusetts, has opened up about how she finally learned to love herself by giving up her diet and focusing on her mental well-being instead

So she abandoned her diet, which had made her feel ‘over-worked’ and ‘stressed about every meal and workout’, and regained all the weight within five years. These days, Mrs Estapa doesn’t even have any pictures of her thinner self on her Facebook page.

But rather than feeling ashamed or discouraged by her weight gain, she was surprised to discover that she was happier heavier and actually felt a sense of relief.

This is because turning her back on the ‘frantic and worrisome’ lifestyle she led while trying to lose weight allowed her to focus instead on her mental well-being and holistic health.

Now, she feels happier – and healthier – than ever, having realized that it is what inside that counts.

Unchanged: After being 'big' all through high school, she joined Weight Watchers and a gym in college and lost an incredible 55lbs in just seven months - but she still felt unhappy

Unchanged: After being 'big' all through high school, she joined Weight Watchers and a gym in college and lost an incredible 55lbs in just seven months - but she still felt unhappy

Unchanged: After being ‘big’ all through high school, she joined Weight Watchers and a gym in college and lost an incredible 55lbs in just seven months – but she still felt unhappy

Inner beauty: So she gave up the 'frantic and worrisome' lifestyle she led while trying to lose weight and focused instead on her mental well-being. Now, she doesn't even have pictures of her thinner self on Facebook

Inner beauty: So she gave up the ‘frantic and worrisome’ lifestyle she led while trying to lose weight and focused instead on her mental well-being. Now, she doesn’t even have pictures of her thinner self on Facebook

Mrs Estapa has now made it her mission to  debunk the idea that ‘bigger’ people should be shamed into losing weight to somehow ‘fix themselves’.

‘I felt disappointed and broken that after all my effort, not much beyond the scale changed’

‘We each have a unique spectrum of health,’ she wrote. ‘It’s up to us  individually to have the self-awareness to gauge if what we do each day  is healthy or unhealthy, not just for our bodies, but for our overall  well-being.’

These days, Mrs Estapa writes a blog catering to plus-size readers called More To Love, and she teaches classes that help women learn to appreciate their fuller bodies.

‘Your size only matters if you make it matter,’ she writes on her website. ‘Change what matters to you and  your life re-aligns to support you.’

Happy life: Mrs Estapa married her husband Adam in October (pictured in a wedding photo)

Happy life: Mrs Estapa married her husband Adam in October (pictured in a wedding photo)

Sharing the love: These days, Mrs Estapa writes a blog catering to plus-size readers called More To Love, and she teaches classes that help women learn to appreciate their fuller bodies

Sharing the love: These days, Mrs Estapa writes a blog catering to plus-size readers called More To Love, and she teaches classes that help women learn to appreciate their fuller bodies

Perspective: 'Confidence comes from a strong will of speaking your truth,' she writes. 'And sustainable health and happiness stems not from calories in versus calories out, but of an attitude of gratitude'

Perspective: ‘Confidence comes from a strong will of speaking your truth,’ she writes. ‘And sustainable health and happiness stems not from calories in versus calories out, but of an attitude of gratitude’

What’s more, she has found that she is actually more in-shape now than she ever was on her road to thinness.

‘My travel from heavy to thinner and  back to heavy again taught me how deceiving the allure of appearances  can be,’ she wrote.

‘Confidence comes from a strong will of speaking your truth, and sustainable health and happiness stems not from calories in  versus calories out, but of an attitude of gratitude.

 

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