Older siblings were put on this earth to guide, protect and love you. Except when you’re children and there’s an age gap of a couple of years or more. Then, they exist solely to make your life a living hell. If you’re an older sibling, chances are you said all ten of these to the younger members of the family over the years. Hopefully, they’ve forgiven you by now.
I’ll time you!
I know mam told me to take the washing in, but I’ll time you. And you’re so fast now. You’ll definitely beat your record.
I’m the oldest; I make the rules
If we play, we play by my rules. Get off the box.
You’re too young to watch this
I’m pushing you out of the sitting room right now. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is not for you.
No, honestly, you were adopted
You see the way your second toe is longer than your big toe? No one else in the family is like that. You were adopted. I remember it. They might come back for you one day.
Eat this, it’s delicious
Yes, I took every raw ingredient from the press and put it in a bowl. It’s a new kind of cake. That’s not brown sauce and flour, it’s chocolate and ice-cream – I swear.
Did you hear that? It was the bogeyman.
You probably shouldn’t sleep tonight. He gets you when you’re sleeping…
I’m telling on you
Mam and dad are gonna be so cross with you
I’ll swap you
Would you like my dolphin? I’ll have your horse instead. Dolphins are SO much better.
This is my game and you’re not allowed to play
My cool friends are here now. Be gone.
You should cut your hair
Here, I got the scissors for you