Maybe Coffee Will Kill Us After All

August 31, 2013 6:38 pm 0 comments Views: 1190

A new study offers further proof that coffee research is schizophrenic.

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Your memory will get better. It will kill you. You won’t commit suicide. It will kill you. You might not get Alzheimer’s. It will kill you. You might not get a stroke. It will kill you.

Tracking scientific research on coffee consumption is to subject oneself to peaks and dips more dramatic than any caffeine rush and crash. Apparently, the medical profession can’t decide if coffee is going to save or ruin us all.

The latest research is decidedly in the later camp: Drinking more than four cups a day puts you at 56 percent greater risk of death “from all causes,” is how The Guardian sums up the new study published by the journal Mayo Clinic Proceedings.

“For the latest study, researchers analysed medical and personal history questionnaires filled out by more than 40,000 people aged 20 to 87 between 1979 and 1998,” Joseph Jebelli writes for The Guardian. “After a typical follow-up period of 17 years, more than 2,500 participants had died.” People under the age of 55 are particularly at risk.

But wait! It might not be that fourth cup per day, or the 28th cup per week, that’s going to end up leading to your demise. It may just be a symptom of a generally unhealthy lifestyle. For example, coffee drinkers were found to be more likely to smoke and have heart and lung problems. They also drink more booze too. “Heavy coffee consumption behavior might cluster with other unhealthy behaviors such as sleeping late, and eating a poor diet,” co-author Xuemei Sui told The Guardian.

So if I’m up before 7 a.m., eat well, and don’t drink too much I can maintain my steady drip of caffeine? That may be a rose-colored-glasses reading of this latest coffee study, but I’ll offer myself up as a one-man case study—check back with me in 17 years.

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