22 Problems Only Foodies Will Understand

August 25, 2013 10:25 am 0 comments Views: 908

You think you know, but you have no idea. Also, can you pass the tapenade?

1. The neverending need to try new foods.

22 Problems Only Foodies Will Understand

pandawhale.com

It’s like being a drug addict, but instead of booze and crack it’s crackers and anchovies.

2. The overwhelming need to order something different every time you eat out.

22 Problems Only Foodies Will Understand

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No matter if it’s McDonald’s or Le Bernardin, you will never on any occasion order the same thing twice, or worse, this nightmare scenario …

3. Not being able to order the same thing someone at your tabled ordered, because that would be insane.

22 Problems Only Foodies Will Understand

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You were going to get the duck, but since Janet decided to “get something exotic” you’re stuck ordering the shrimp. You hate Janet.

4. Lying about where all your money goes.

Lying about where all your money goes.

velmurugans.com

You know where it goes; to $200 prix-fixe dinners, that’s where.

5. Risking your vacation by eating authentic street food.

Risking your vacation by eating authentic street food.

Flickr: migrationmark

“What is that? Goat? No. Is it meat? Ah, screw it! Give me one and make it spicy.” — You, before you spend the whole next day on the toilet.

6. Being called a “foodie” from people who think they’re trying to be cute.

22 Problems Only Foodies Will Understand

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“I bet you’ll love this place, you foodie. It has weird things on the menu.” — Your friends, being dicks. They don’t understand our passion, and the term “foodie” isour word, not theirs.

7. Waiting in line, seemingly forever, just to try the “newest thing.”

Waiting in line, seemingly forever, just to try the "newest thing."

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Whether it’s a restaurant or food truck, newbie or classic, you will wait in line. There’s a 90% chance the food will suck, but that 10% …

8. Driving hours to try the “best taco you’ve ever tasted.”

22 Problems Only Foodies Will Understand

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Was it the best taco? Meh. Was it worth the journey? You betcha.

9. Understanding what a “deconstructed” dish is, but not what The Restoration was.

Understanding what a "deconstructed" dish is, but not what The Restoration was.

ferdyonfilms.com

Did they have emulsion blenders back then? Because if not you don’t care.

10. Not understanding people who think seafood is gross.

22 Problems Only Foodies Will Understand

Being allergic I get, but thinking it’s “icky” … not so much.

11. Getting irrationally angry when chain restaurants try to get creative.

Getting irrationally angry when chain restaurants try to get creative.

ineedtext.com

Look, no one wants your “Mango Chutney Stuffed Shrimp” or whatever it is you are trying to pass off as haute cuisine. Just give me an order of wings and a beer, please.

12. When friends give you a hard time for ordering something simple.

22 Problems Only Foodies Will Understand

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“Yeah, I got a scoop of vanilla. What of it?!”

13. Not throttling people when they say plebian things, like “cilantro tastes like soap.”

Not throttling people when they say plebian things, like "cilantro tastes like soap."

bonnieplants.com

Almost as frustrating as people not knowing that coriander and cilantro are theSAME EFFING THING!

14. Getting jealous when you see what the guy at the table next to you ordered.

22 Problems Only Foodies Will Understand

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“I knew I should have gotten the halibut!”

15. Realizing you are eating something awesome that you probably will never eat again.

Realizing you are eating something awesome that you probably will never eat again.

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You know you’re never going to be in Bruges again, so just try to enjoy the meal while you can.

16. Lamenting the fact that you never ate at El Bulli.

Lamenting the fact that you never ate at El Bulli.

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And if by chance you did, that you will never eat there again.

17. Constantly searching for the perfect “crunch” or “acid” factor in a dish.

22 Problems Only Foodies Will Understand

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You’ve never found it, and you probably never will.

18. Planning your trips around the business hours of restaurants.

Planning your trips around the business hours of restaurants.

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“They’re only open from 11am – 1pm Mondays and Wednesdays. If we leave at 10 then …”

19. Feeling obligated to try the food from every food truck you see.

Feeling obligated to try the food from every food truck you see.

nypress.com

Indian-style dumplings? Korean sauerkraut? Count me in!

20. Fighting the urge to consistently watch food porn.

Fighting the urge to consistently watch food porn.

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Whether it be Anderw Zimmern’s Bizzare Foods, or any plethora of food documentaries, you will always stop whatever you are doing to watch. I’m looking at you, Chopped reruns.

21. When you use terms like “macerate” and “sous-vide,” much to the chagrin of others.

When you use terms like "macerate" and "sous-vide," much to the chagrin of others.

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Well excuuuuuse me for picking up a menu, er, book every now and then.

22. Facing the fact that you will never be satisfied.

22 Problems Only Foodies Will Understand

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Ugh. Now I’m hungry. Again.

 

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