I have to wash my eyelashes tonight … Sorry!
Stage 1: Remember that there might be a thing you have to do, when you’d rather be doing nothing.
Whether you’ve had a long day, or you’re a secret introvert (like me!), you just immediately want to die a little.
Stage 2: Decide not to bring it up, because maybe they’ll forget, or something wonderful like that.
Stage 3: The unthinkable happens — they email to check if you’re still on for tonight.
Stage 4: Shiiiiiiiit.
Stage 5: Waffle back and forth on what to do for roughly an hour.
Stage 6: Make the executive decision that there is no way, no how, that you’re going out.
Stage 7: Complete and utter dread over the conversation you’ll need to have.
Stage 8: Brainstorm excuses for why you can’t go, like you need to eat …
Or you accidentally fell into the bowels of hell, and can’t be rescued…
Or maybe you just really need to get to a hospital…
Stage 9: Settle on the excuse that no one can ever, ever fight you on…
Stage 10: Apologize profusely after sending the excuse.
Stage 11: Then you wait, and wait, and wait until you wanna throw up, for their response.
Stage 12: After countless minutes — that feel like hours — they respond.
Stage 13: Take off your pants, sailor, because someone’s staying in tonight!
Stage 14: Let the wave of happiness rush over you.
Because the truth is, canceling plans is amazing.
Stage 15: Enjoy a lovely, quiet evening of bliss in the joy of your own company.
Stage 16: Then you go to sleep, happy with all of your life choices …
Until you realize you have plans tomorrow. (!!!)