27 Reasons Why You Should Never Tan

June 15, 2013 6:52 pm 0 comments Views: 2050

1. Cards on the table, I am pale. Irish pale. Like this girl sunbathing. No, not her. The other one.

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2. This is me.

This is me.

3. Fellow pale Irish person Niall Horan understands.

Fellow pale Irish person Niall Horan understands.

4. Us pale people know to fear the sun. For us, tan is a four letter word.

Us pale people know to fear the sun. For us, tan is a four letter word.

5. But I’m OK with it. Because tanning is awful.

But I'm OK with it. Because tanning is awful.

6. Up until the 1920s, it wasn’t considered refined in Western countries to tan.

Up until the 1920s, it wasn't considered refined in Western countries to tan.

7. In fact, a backronym for the word ‘posh’ derives from the phrase ‘Port Out, Starboard Home’ – ie the shadiest sides of the ship on each voyage.

In fact, a backronym for the word 'posh' derives from the phrase 'Port Out, Starboard Home' - ie the shadiest sides of the ship on each voyage.

8. Tanning came back into fashion after Coco Chanelaccidentally got sunburnt on holidays.

Tanning came back into fashion after Coco Chanel accidentally got sunburnt on holidays.

9. Her friends liked her suntan, and the trend caught on. Cheers, Coco.

Her friends liked her suntan, and the trend caught on. Cheers, Coco.

10. But really, let’s think about this. Is a tan worth it?

But really, let's think about this. Is a tan worth it?

11. Yeah, you can prove exactly how sunny your holiday was.

Yeah, you can prove exactly how sunny your holiday was.

12. And sure, you’ve got a sunkissed glow.

And sure, you've got a sunkissed glow.

13. But you’re hiding your true colours.

But you're hiding your true colours.

14. No matter how much attention you pay to your suncream, there’ll always be a bit you miss.

No matter how much attention you pay to your suncream, there'll always be a bit you miss.

15. And you’ll have to live with the consequences of your actions.

And you'll have to live with the consequences of your actions.

16. And let’s say, against all odds, you manage to avoid sunburn, and pick up a tan.

And let's say, against all odds, you manage to avoid sunburn, and pick up a tan.

Image by Getty Images

17. Your friends will either tell you how odd you look…

27 Reasons Why You Should Never Tan

18. Or tell you how you look unwell once it fades.

27 Reasons Why You Should Never Tan

19. Fake tan’s not much better.

Fake tan's not much better.

20. Especially if you happen to get dumped.

Especially if you happen to get dumped.

21. Let’s not even talk about tanning booths, or the health risks involved.

Let's not even talk about tanning booths, or the health risks involved.

22. Come on now. Would you rather be Lindsay, or Nicola?

Come on now. Would you rather be Lindsay, or Nicola?

23. Donatella or Dita?

Donatella or Dita?

24. Tan Mom or Tilda?

Tan Mom or Tilda?

25. Thought as much. So pick up that parasol.

Thought as much. So pick up that parasol.

26. Throw on that sunhat.

Throw on that sunhat.

27. And come join me in the glorious, glorious shade.

And come join me in the glorious, glorious shade.

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