1. If your roomie hates laundry, add a dash of Robert Downey Jr. to their load.
2. When you need your roommate to clean up their shit, make it entertaining.
3. Be supportive when your roomie has something major to deal with.
Referencing Bill O’Reilly helps.
4. If you have loud sex, make sure to share the love.
DONUT LOVE. Jesus.
5. Don’t leave your roommate hanging, and change the fucking TP roll before it runs out.
6. If you drink all of the pirate punch and barf it up, apologize with cupcakes.
7. If you unintentionally eat their food, the apology is best served in cartoon form.
8. And if you eat the last few slices of pizza, pay for your sins.
9. Instead of getting mad because the electricity bill is so high, make turning off the lights a sexier option.
10. Keep them on their toes with a little Nicolas Cage in the cupboard.
11. If Cage isn’t your style, then Gollum-up your roomie’s bathroom experience.
They’ll be terrified at first, but thank you later.
12. If you punch a hole through the door, fix it with Jack Nicholson.
13. Ask for the rent with roses.
14. Or pay the rent in a badass way.
15. Make everything a whole lot happier by adding googly eyes!
16. Turn the freezer into an epic winter wonderland.
17. If your roommate’s boob is hanging out, let it lie.
18. Leave to-do notes that actually sound FUN.
19. If you ruin their clothes, draw them a picture of an octopus playing the drums.
20. Always be sure to say good morning.
21. Make sure your roomie feels safe at all times.
22. Give your roomie a heads up on what kind of mood you’re in with a custom door hanger.
23. And if you pass out in the living room, for whatever reason, dress in cosplay.
That way your roommate will have something to laugh at, and feel happier about the fact that you were too lazy to make it to bed!