13 Ways to be Happier

Without realising it, many of our thought habits get in the way of our happiness and cause us to get stuck into negative patterns of thinking. Below we will look at 13 ways we can rewire our thoughts and minds into allowing ourselves to feel the happiness that we deserve, freeing us to live, love and be happy. We will look at how we can liberate ourselves from those thoughts and mental habits that hold us back and hold us down, we will look forward to a better, happier and more positive new us. Follow this advice and not only will you feel better but those around you will too, after all, only a lit candle can light other candles.

1. Let go of your complaining
Throughout the day we could potentially find countless things to complain about, the weather, the traffic, the service we got at a restaurant but how does this constant whinging make things any better for us? Does it make things better for us? Does is make us happier? Or does it just put a downer on our mood and make us feel unhappy, low and depressed? Our mood is in our hands, we can choose to react to any situation however we want, we can allow ourselves to sucked into a negative state of mind or we can rise above that and be happy despite the traffic!

“Tell the negativity committee that meets inside your head to sit down and shut up.” Martin Seligman

2. Let go of having to always be right.
Many of us struggle with the even the thought of being wrong and will go as far as falling out with dear friends or loved ones solely for the sake of being right. Letting go of this habit will lead to better relationships for all. A sense of serenity in knowing that even though you may have been right, you’ve saved yourself and those around you a great deal of stress, worry and tension in not having to be right or have the last word. Wayne Dyer wrote “Would I rather be right or would I rather be kind?” Think about that next time you find yourself fighting this habit!

3. Let go of any self defeating ideas
Most of the hurdles we face in life are actually ones that we have concocted up in our minds, they are imaginary, unreal and they are what prevent us from moving forward, not our actual circumstances. These imaginary hurdles warp our ideas about what we can and cannot do, what is and what is not possible. We need to learn to see through these hurdles. Then we will be ready to spread our wings and fly!

An entire sea of water can’t sink a ship unless it gets inside the ship. Similarly, the negativity of the world can’t put you down unless you allow it to get inside you – Goi Nasu

4. Let go of your fears
What would you attempt if you knew you could not fail? Our fears are unfortunately hindrances that we create for ourselves. Imagine all those hindrances had vanished, how would you feel? Close your eyes and imagine that for just a moment. Feel good? Now try living that way.

Being kind to yourself in thoughts, words and actions is as important as being kind to others.

5. Let go of attachment
Attachments create an atmosphere of fear. You are not reliant on things and allowing yourself to think you are will prevent you from being happy.

6. Let go of making criticism
Refrain from criticising anything and everything that you don’t understand. We are all different and that’s what makes life beautiful; what a boring place this would be if we were all the same. Allow people and things to be different, don’t see difference as an excuse to criticise. We all want to be happy, let’s allow ourselves to be happy and lets allow others to be happy.

7. Let go of blaming
Stop trying to find reasons for why things are what they are, in looking to explain things away we often try and find fault in something or someone, this negativity harms those around us, but more than anyone else, it harms us!

8. Let go of trying to impress other people
There are so many more important things in life than worrying what someone thinks of our shoes, what you do for a living or the car you drive. These things are not that are going to nurture healthy relationships. What people want from you is to be real, to be yourself, when you drop all pretences you’ll realise that people appreciate you for who you are and you’ll find your relationships are now stronger and deeper.

9. Let go of your excuses
Sometimes we get into the habit of making excuses for the sake of making excuses. We have all the time, resources and energy that we will ever have. We need to take advantage of our youth, good health, wealth, free time and most of all, our lives while we have them!

10. Let go of trying to always control
Situations, events, people; as much as we may try, much of what happens around us cannot be controlled by us and so we must spare ourselves the hassle of trying to think that it can. Let everyone and everything around you just be and you will feel much more relaxed and happier.

11. Let go of the past
Keep things in perspective, never dwelling on the past or being anxious about the future, rather enjoying these precious everyday moments. Today is all you have. Tomorrow has not been promised to you and yesterday has passed you by. So be present in all that you do. Remember, these are the good old days, happiness is not something you can postpone for the future.

12. Let go of resisting change
Every life process entails change. As human beings we often enjoy familiarity and once we become comfortable we become resistant to change. But very little lasts forever and so we have to alway be ready for change, that doesn’t mean we fear it, rather we embrace it whenever it comes knocking at our door, we welcome it in and see it as opportunity, opportunity for something new and better.

13. Let go of living life to other people’s expectations
Too much of our lives is spent trying to fit into social archetypes. We allow the expectations of others determine the job we do, the car we drive, the clothes we wear and much more! How much happier would we be if instead we followed our hearts and did things the way we wanted to do them. We allow our loved ones to dictate to us, our parents, siblings, partners and often we allow influences such as the media or government to dictate to us how we live our lives. We are all talented individuals, we all have something to offer, something unique. Each one of us is gifted. We need to nurture our talents and gifts and contribute through doing what we do best, doing what we love, rather than doing what we think is expected of us.

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  • This is a really great article! Whoever wrote this is obviously very wise when it comes to these deep topics that confuse pretty much all of us.Very inspirational, makes me want to write a personal response to it on my blog (of course I will link to your article as well ;))…. Thanks

    • Jesse Kamphuijs

      Somethng more practical was expected, like: giving up your t.v. and other useless habits. This list is about resignation. Resist! More justice and truth! Oh, nihilism, fiend!

    • PurposeFairyFan

      This page is not the ORIGINAL AUTHOR – they have posted someone else’s content. Here is the real author:


    • Chad

      examples of many of these can be found in the Bible. Jesus is a perfect example of how to live 🙂 Being a Christian is not about rules and religion weighing you down, but about freedom, love, and God wrapping himself in human form to clear the bar that none of us could keep.

      • Jesus

        Oh stfu.

        • Person

          Thank you.

  • great advice! thank you

  • Michelle

    Thank you so much for this. My goal is to read it everyday.

    • Susan

      Good idea, Michelle. will do that too.

    • Brent

      Hi Michelle,

      I have read a couple of the books quoted above, and have been to a life coach and Councillor many times. I always find myself falling back into the same old routines, the same polluted thoughts and toxic personality I strive so hard to overcome. I too will read this as often as possible, it is essential that we hold these values close and always remember them as it is so simple to “fall from grace” if you will and revert back to who we don’t want to be (or become). Good Luck!

  • soyini madison


  • John

    Number 14 is BS.

    • David Hazen

      That is not my experience!

    • marjorie

      Sorry John, you just broke rule #10. You won’t be happy without either one of these rules!

    • Mary DePompa

      Are you sure that you understand it? Its a little deep.

    • Sue

      Hahaha! That one stopped me, too. No. 14 certainly leans heavily on mystical reasoning that has neither proof nor instinct to support it. Sounds like something out of the smoke-filled ’60s and ’70’s.

    • Lily

      It’s really, really not. The point you stop thinking that ‘things’ have any significance beyond what they can enable you to achieve/help you to sustain, that imaginary bonds are just that; then you get to see the bits that matter and that will truly change your world. It’s letting go of old friendships that don’t give you anything anymore, ridding yourself of the notion that your new techy gadget has made you ‘better’ in someway for owning it, and allowing yourself to move on and evolve as a human being. Discovery and exploration necessitate a dismissal of the status quo-which means letting go of old confines, and not creating pointless attachments to that which does not matter which hold us in a fixed space.

    • Sue

      Actually, no, I don’t think it is. I have not achieved it completely, although I have a friend who had. I am on this pathway. To get there, you have to literally be willing to lose it all, and live aesthetically. You have blocked your brain to live at some level dictated by a fiscal society. You would be surprised what you can do within the guidelines of that society and your morals and improve your personal emotional wellbeing. Stop letting everyone else define your happiness.

    • Sil-in-Corea

      Attachment is connected to Security, i.e. the fear of not having enough. Fear is b.s. Jealousy is another way that fear shows itself. Love cannot exist where jealousy lives. Negative thinking creates both attachment and jealousy. Kick negative thinking out!

    • Layla Khan

      John, I think #14 is one of the most important because it’s about fear & how fear & love cannot coexist. I find this to be completely true because when you truly love something or someone, you dont need to possess it. You wont worry if you are apart from this loved one or thing because the love is always there. When you’re afraid to separate yourself from things or people you love, it’s more of a need for attachment out of the fear that you will lose that love or precious thing unless you hold onto it. It’s could also be a fear that you may not be complete without the attachment to the person or things you crave. This is where the need to control comes from. Can you understand? Why did you think it’s BS?

    • Mel

      Agreed. Attachment is the basis of all human relationships. Children who develop Attachment Disorder from poor or neglectful parenting have a terrible prognosis in life. Doomed relationships, damaged self-concept, lack of empathy leading to anti-social behavior, substance abuse, imprisonment, unable to parent themselves raising another generation of attachment disordered children.. it goes on forever. Attachment to material things is a completely different matter. But attachment in our interpersonal relationships is essential, and it does not come from a place of fear. It comes from a place of trust.

    • I agree. My goal in life is not to become self-actualized. My goal is to live. It’s fine if people who want this way of life, but 99% don’t. People who have become self-actualized are Mother Theresa, Gandhi, The Dalai Lama just to name a few. While the author of this article has some good ideas, this is one that if aspired to, many will be very disappointed. It should probably be removed.

    • Kristy

      Please expand on this because this is a big part of Buddhism, a philosophy that millions of people follow.
      Seems to work for them!

    • Shamuel Shlameil

      John, see Number One.

    • Daryl

      I totally agree.

    • Wyatt

      If B.S. is short for Buddhist Scripture then you sir are on the right path.

    • Jerome

      and why is this John? just curious…

    • Rich

      I think #14 is similar to #2 in that we can love something without trying to control it. I do understand you comment though. I thought it too at first.

    • Jason

      Hi John, I say with good intentions, if you think 14 is b.s. then maybe you just don’t get it yet. I have experienced life changing positive growth from detaching myself from an unpleasant experience in my life. I didn’t forget the experience but it doesn’t have a negative impact on my life anymore. I don’t know you but I know from experience that whatever experience anyone is attached to they can detach if they choose to do so. It can be B.S. too, if that is what you choose it to be. You have the choice!

      Be well,


    • Nathan Eldred

      Non attachment is the core of Buddhism. The fact that you think it is BS is indicative of the problem with much of the world.

    • Sam

      Have you read a single word in this article? Reread #4, #7, and especially #10. Wayne Dyer was talking specifically to you.

    • Eve

      Absolutely agree. Attachment is a necessary part of being human from the time we are born til the day we die.

    • Franco

      Probably 14 is for some extra(!) space 😉 You know what I mean. I do not agree with it obviously. Love is so pure and gentle yes, yet love is the imprisonment of self to achieve a greater entity: a unification that allows no me and you. Therefore the goal is to be totally attached, not detached. But of course if we think about modern concept of “love” which is quite equal to: “make the individuals happy separately and have a good sex in the night” yeah, 14 is a must.

    • Bri

      I agree lol

    • Brett

      It’s one of the basic tenets of Buddhism.

    • Clint

      Good argument John…

    • jennifern

      there is a difference between love and attachment. you know the old saw: “if you love something, set it free…” attachment means putting expectations on the other being, rather than accepting them as they are, allowing things to be as they are. you set up the relationship for disappointment, by confining the other one to your personal stereotype, thereby disallowing them to be themselves, to be the person you were attracted to in the first place. love is acceptance. and trust. attachment shuts down the love, instead of keeping it free flowing.

    • chickie

      I don’t like the use word “attachment”, but what I think they were really trying to say was jealousy…yet trying really hard to avoid using that word for some reason

    • me,not you

      You might want to re-read #’s 5,7, 10 & #14.

    • G

      Give up attachments on attachments

    • Shawn

      14 is actually right. It’s Buddha’s teaching of ‘The less you care, the happier you’ll be’

      It’s actually pretty deep that I still haven’t really fully learn about it. What I interpret is as the more you care for someone, the more hurt it’ll be. The less care you give, the more you actually let them learn. The less you care doesn’t mean you don’t love them. In fact, you love them even more. I’m not sure if I’m putting it right. Honestly, I failed on #14, because I was too attached to something, someone and some events/things too, which at the end, the care/love/anything-you-want-to-name-it became a double edge sword, which in return hurting myself pretty badly, and directly/indirectly hurting others as well.

    • Darrell

      Agreed. Although, the whole article feels an awful lot like fluff to me. Not wrong necessarily, just…old and obvious. It might be good for a junior high student or someone like that. Or elementary perhaps? Maybe?

    • Andrea

      Actually, John, it’s Zen.

  • I want to comment on number 2. I told my wife of 53 years one time that she was right and told her that next time it was my turn to be right. She said, “It’s never your turn”.

    • John Day

      Hi George,
      She obviously ignores No. 2 !

    • David Hazen

      My relationship with my mother got much better when I started telling her she might be right about all of her criticisms.

    • marjorie

      Wow!! I sure hope she was joking!Otherwise that sure puts a stop to any growth on her part!!! But don’t let it stand in the way of YOUR happiness, however. YOU alone are responsible for your happiness, not even your wife is in charge of that!

    • who ever heard of “taking turns” to be “right”? You’re either right or not right…… or, you give up trying to “control” whose “right” and “wrong”. If you let go of that control, you will find more and more, it doesn’t matter, everything and everyone is “all right”

    • Jenny

      George, my son just took cotillion. The woman in charge was teaching the boys how to walk a girl on your arm and offer her a seat. Her mantra was “put her on your right arm, because???” and the students were supposed to reply, “because she’s always right!”

    • Tammy Nystrom

      That is why it’s been 53 years! LOL I am a wife of 31 years.

    • MaxLeBaron

      we all know that you are already “right” this Time, given your response to your Wife, notwithstanding her seemingly unconditional reply.

  • katica

    Number 13 is impossible, I just can’t… I would give everything to rewind 6 months… oh how I wish
    I gave up my happiness for money, how fucking terrible am I?! And now I’m also a crybaby, great!

    • Mirta


      It is very difficult, but not impossible. I would guess you are young. What you may think is a permanent situation now, will sooner than you think be a memory that will make you wonder “what was I thinking.” Everything is a stage with a beggining, middle, and end. When you feel stuck, always repeat to yourself with conviction “this too shall pass.” And it certainly will.

    • Sashi

      Katica – If you gave up happiness for money, why don’t you try and do something kind for someone who doesn’t have the material wealth that you do. Give to a charity that helps others, or buy a homeless person a meal. Do something that would make YOU Happy with your money. If you can’t rewind time, at least you can live with what you have now and find a way to enjoy it. Who knows, maybe if you do something nice, pay it forward, Karma will give you a second chance to try that event 6 months ago that you wish for — one more time.
      Pay it forward, expect nothing in return. 🙂

    • Joan Cooper

      Dear Katica, it is never impossible to release what is of no purpose to ourself.
      Always know that it is your beauty and love within that will be.
      Attachment is our ego and we have a choice to see our ego (what we think)or our heart (what we know and feel) and it is our journey to experience in life what brings us to our heart or our head, so we know the difference.
      And I bet that your beauty within is truly abundant.

    • Peter

      Hi Katica,

      Its called making a mistake….we all make them and learn from them, sometimes the hard way. From your words it seems that money won over happiness but surely you didnt think that would be the case, but now its done. MOVE ON, learn from this, cry your eyes out (it helps) as this means you really cared and you still have feelings and if you can, make amends. If not just learn. 🙂

    • marjorie

      Start out again fresh!! You can do it!! Learn and grow from your mistakes if you really want to be happy!

    • Joseph

      You still have life so you still have a choice. Do not beat yourself up further. I will pray for you. Remember failure is not about falling, everyone falls, failure is choosing to not bet back up. God bless!

    • Sean Wookie

      It is not for nothing, if you learned something, and it is obvious you did. Nobody is perfect. Forgive yourself. You never know what the future may bring, but your choices will guide you.

    • Jenn

      None of this is to beat yourself up or criticize where you are or a decision you regret (think that was mentioned in the self criticism part). The important part is to realize the lesson and do what you can to move forward. No one is saying you’re a cry baby if you’re stuck or reflect on the past…it’s natural to miss it at times. The problem happens when people blame their past for everything in their current lives or spend a majority of their time wishing they were somewhere else. They miss the beauty of where they are at the moment. You will find the right path for you and it will be better than you could have magined.

    • Bruce


      Above, and in, all things, love yourself, and have patience with yourself. Remember, you are not just in a place, you are on a path. Like in cooking, there are no mistakes, just new recipes!

    • CM

      Giving up the past ISN’T impossible, it is just hard, very hard. It can be done. 🙂

    • sooie

      It’s only human to make a mistake. Grieve, and don’t dismiss your grief as some immaturity. Then move on by learning from your mistake. Think deeply about it, and let it make you a better person.

    • jan

      hi Katica,
      No, crying doesn’t make you a cry baby. Good luck with the list.

    • Stephanie

      All you have is the present NOW. You may have given something up THEN that you wish you hadn’t, NOW it all you have to turn that around. Life is about makeing maistakes and learning/growing from them. THAT is what life is. As you grow and learn, generally you learn to listen to intuition/your GUT that tells you – you know what you might want to do but ask yourslef what do I really WANT in my soul/heart/gut – what will bring me JOY, not happiness but true JOY… that generally doesn’t come from material things but can if your motives are right. PEOPLE & relationships come 1st, so does feeling good about yourself… learn, change & grow and be good to yourself. None of us has ever walked this way before, we’re all learning… just be good to yourself & others and non judgemental to both as well . HAVE FUN !

    • Jason

      Hi Katica, just wanted to say don’t be so hard on yourself. Everyone makes mistakes. Every experience in life has a lesson and a brightside. I see the lesson for you in your comment. “You gave up happiness for money”. Happiness comes from within and not from outside ourselves in the form of money, material things or approval from others. Love yourself and make the decision to learn how. You have the choice. Like it says, life is a journey and not a destination. If you think about that and accept that we all make mistakes and realize that the journey of life is challenging us to learn so we don’t make the same mistakes over and over. Love yourself, laugh at your mistakes, learn from them, thank the universe for the lesson and move on with a smile on your face.

      Be well,


    • Katica,
      That what you needed to learn, and ironically, you weren’t actually happy until this lesson :). Now it is possible dear. Be courageous and present, no pity! Embrace the emotional price as thx cost for the lesson! :-). Paul

    • Hi Katica,

      Don’t beat yourself. You did the best you knew at that time. I did the same as many women did. Let’s move forward to thriving instead of surviving. Good luck to you. Ranka

      Contact me I have a lot to share with you.

    • Love it!
      Money – Gotta have it and it buys happiness, yet crushes things that are oh so important.

    • Eve


      I commend 4, 5 11 & 12 to you.
      All the best.

    • Michelle

      I sympathize, really I do. The wounds of whatever happened are still fresh – part of why your situation seems desperate and hopeless.

      I hope you are able to regain strength and look toward the future. Your past forms who you are today. I made my share of errors – life changing ones that could have led to disaster (in the moment, some felt like they did) – but I wouldn’t change a second. It all passes eventually. Learn the lessons, regroup, and build from here; things can improve.

      Oh, by the way, you are not terrible; you’re not the first to do something like that. It’s all about what you do with yourself thereafter. Keep living.

    • Art

      Katica, I may be wrong, but I think you missed the point. We’ve all had times of regret where we WISH we could turn back the clock and undo what we did in the past. The point is all the wishing in the world won’t turn back the clock and we simply can’t go back in time. That doesn’t mean that there’s nothing we can do. There is a lot we can do. We can learn from the mistake and pledge to ourselves to not repeat it. We can plan for the future to do whatever is in our power to mitigate the damage of our past mistakes. We can make the most of the here and now. That’s what we have control over and that’s what effective people focus on. Is it easy? Heck no! Is the right thing to strive to do for mental health and sanity? You bet it is! Hope this helps.

    • Clint

      The past can never happen again. So there is no point holding on to it… Any reenactment will never suffice and will only be that, a reenactment and not the original experience. Therefore make the most of the present. Make new memories and cherish those but again as they quickly become the past, don’t linger. Carpe diem! Seize the day! Today! Each day!

    • MickMahoney

      That’s gr8, $$, happiness, crying babies! Todo Bien It’s all Good — Brandeis taught me a lot about herstory & inevitability theory. whatever!

      Think that history of 6 months can still linger in the subconscious for ever, we can choose to control the historically significant Pasts. the “subconscious is a powerful thing”(Vanilla Sky) Free your mind 🙂

    • Dianne

      Katica, the most beautiful thing about the past is that we get to make our future decisions based on those experiences. We learn and grow only when we se chose NOT to repeat our mistake. Have joy in your learning and imagine that this experience has prepared you for one that is coming up of even more significance!

  • Fernie

    13 IS one of the hardest but having lived for it for soooo long and then, finally, letting it go, my inner peace has been amazing. I wish you peace as well, Katica.

  • Mickey Sweet

    I LOVE this!! Thank you!!!

  • John

    It’s alright katica we all make mistakes but we all get over them you must do it too

  • Jovie

    I will give up my Limiting beliefs, I will spread my wings and fly! Nothing can stop me now.

  • #14 is bullshit

    #14 is utter BS. It is truly vague. Of course you need to be “attached”. Attached to your dreams and vision. #14 is the anti-thesis of the whole article.

  • Reality

    Erm… this is a list to let go shortly before committing suicide… Keep and maintain your freedom and be free. Do not rid yourself of the things that make people able and confident everyday. Do not give up the things that give us reason to fulfill this thing called life. Folow the list above…and you will live such a dior life. its basically telling you to become defeatist. WASTE!

  • Jon

    AKA how to give up living.

    The author might as well just end his life then.

  • Daphne Francis

    hey folks
    it is hard to live by a rule book not the heart and fear is not in the head in my exeprience – it is a body -experience designed to keep us safe. I suspect we all agree – the one thing we must not give up on -is life.

  • Funny Lady

    Like it!

    Now, if only my landlord and banker and the oil companies followed this philosophy 🙂 I think I might have to go back to #1.

  • Delan

    Amazing article..came across it when i woke up.. feel good reading it.. excellent advise and heart-fully written..
    Kudos and thank you…

  • nice work!

  • Number 14 is not BS. It is a fact that we get to attach to things and negative people. It’s not telling you let go your relationships and friends. Nor to detach yourself from life and living. Is asking to look at the things we are attached to. More often than not it’s the things we should let go of, that we hang on to for dear life. In it simplest form. ‘A love one give you a present be it jewellery or a simple vase. We love because it felt special (the attachment forms). One day you lose it or the vase break. You’re sad and you give out a negative vibe and focus on the loss of such a beloved item (It this feeling you’ve created around the item it telling to let of). It the same with people we try to form friendships/relationships, so create attachments with people that are bad for us. People we really should give them a wide berth. But we don’t. Number 14 is the most important one of all. Because without fully grasping the concept of number 14 it is near on impossible to give up the other 14 suggested.

  • Shaun

    In other simple words, drop your Ego!

  • emily

    #11 and #14 are IMO the most powerful vehicles of transformation … with those, all the others will fall right into place … reprogram, over and over, reprogram them in.

  • Dawn

    Great text. But… (there is always ‘but’) everything is relative. For example, in nr 1 it says: “ask yourself this question: “Would I rather be right, or would I rather be kind?”Wayne Dyer. What difference will that make? Is your ego really that big?” I am not sure about this one. Many things in the world are f uped because of dishonesty, fake politeness, etc. I cannot image anything kinder than what is right. Kinder to the person (at least in the long run) and kinder to the world. True kindness rests in honesty and expressing things as they are. Nothing to do with ego, just what kind of world you want to live in, and leave behind for your kids to live in. I know I cannot change anything, but there is also an expression “be the change you want to see in the world” by Ghandi I believe and I think that has something to do with this attitude of mine.
    Nr 2: let go and everything will be fine. No it will not. Sorry. It will make it easier for me to live in the shitty world that we live in, but it will ultimately be a selfish act that does not contribute to the better of the mankind. Should I also not control and let go of my colleagues who are spreading gossip and enjoying in other people’s pain? Or should I try to tell them what a piece of shit of people they are and that what they are doing is morally wrong and hurts innocent people? In all that, I would be making it harder for myself but I would be ultimately contributing a tiny piece to something better. Some acts should simply be punished.
    Nr 3. Don’t blame others…. someone who wrote this, like most other people in the world, has done wrong to people around him/herself. Everyone is of course responsible for their lives, but what do you do when, for example, you have been lied to and deceived in love relationship? Should we all develop supersensory prophet-like skills and see into the mind of people around us? So when someone hurts us one or another way, deliberately, without us contributing to it in the slightest, should we not tell these people what we think about them?
    Nr 4: works for most, but not for some people.
    Nr 5: Self-limiting beliefs can be a healthy take on your own abilities and what you can and cannot achieve. I want to be the best tennis player in the world. I cannot do that. I limit myself to being the best in the second league of one small country. Enough and I will not waste my life chasing the dreams that re unrealistic and spend all my money on something that will not work.
    Nr 6. Seriously? Do not complain about things that make you sad and depressed?? In other words, if you feel like dying then keep it to yourself and never ever say anything to anyone. Way to channel your emotions in a healthy way and express what you feel. Plus, yes, events and people can do it to you, affect you in a negative way, just because of one reason: because you are not made out of stone but you are human made of meat and blood and you have emotions. Not everyone is a sociopath out there and this is what is required to not let things affect you. Sure when your mum dies you should be totally fine and not talk and complain to anyone about how this even affected you. Sorry but this is BS.
    Nr 7-10 I actually I agree with.
    Nr 11 Fears are not always an illusion. They are very very human and texts like these usually try to dehumanise people and turn them into bunch of sociopaths.
    Nr 12 I didn’t quite understand this one so no comment.
    Nr 13 and Nr 14 – past is a part of us. It has created many of our traits. It would take years of therapy to get rid of your past and therapy works only in some cases. Attachment is a natural thing connected to the sense of belonging. I do want to belong to my family and not be detached from them. Emotional dependence is something that happens and should happen to some extent in every relationship. If I have a perfectly happy life with or without my partner, then what would be his role in my life and how (un)important should he feel? Once again, we are human. Instead of wasting breath and text in the news on how to live alone and dehumanising yourself to protect yourself from any pain inflicted by selfish people (most of the people) and people who have no conciousness, we should flood the news by texts on how people should behave to not hurt others around them. We should focus on how to be good, rather than how to become stone to protect yourself from bad.
    Nr 15 – don’t live in accordance what other people expect of you but do what is best for you. In other words, be a selfish piece of shit. If your kids want you to take them to football match and your spouse wants you to help around the house, while you want to go and drink beer with your buddies until 5 a.m. you should choose what makes you happy and the rest explode. There are some expectations which we, as members of society, should be able to meet even though it is not the best for us. Sometimes doing the right thing, rather than selfish thing, is not such a bad thing to do. If everyone acted in accordance with these guidelines the world would be even worse than it already is.

    Many psychologists are sociopaths so no wonder that modern psychology is placing the kind of emphasis that make me think we are all going to hell. If people can use arguments like, why are you giving me guilt trip, why are you asking me for this when I want to do that, why should I do something that is good for you when I can do something that is good for me, etc., there is no real love in the world, and the little that has remained is being squished with these phrases that put so much distance between people as emotional and social beings, but most importantly, as human beings. We were never more selfish and more far away from each other and it was never more okay. Am I the last good human being on the planet? I know I am not, but it sometimes feels that way and is disappointing. I cannot wait to get the hell out of here. Meeting someone genuine and good would maybe change that and would make me feel less lonely.

    Oh well… these were my opinions, feel free to disagree.

  • Jim

    Oh boy, do I know someone who needs to read this, and more to the point action it !
    She makes everyone’s life a misery because she has every single one of these problems and is never never happy, no matter what anyone does for her or how much she is given!

  • sarah

    attachment comes from a place of fear? you sound like a sociopath. most of these just have to do with giving up or blocking human emotion and relations, which is not worth doing in the slightest bit.

  • Uday

    All 15 things to give up in real life don’t make sense in real life, they are more philosophical, not practical.

    For e.g you bend backwards to listen,to get peoples attention and hope they have understood and agree to what’s right and wrong, however in an hour/day or month nothing has changed which only produces negative energy and frustrations.

    philosophically I agree that we give up, change our actions and everything in the 15 things to do, however i think the best one advice is surely try and if not succeeded then just move on with your own life away from the ones who continuously frustrate you selfishly.

  • Drewsifer

    Give up tacky internet lists.

  • saskia

    every thing is true here. love it!

  • Joan Cooper

    It is good to recognize what we do not need, it is empowering to release what serves us no purpose, it is enlightening to see, know and feel our beauty and wonderfulness within.

  • lyn dela cruz

    It’s like give up on being human…:)

  • Bob

    A lot of us can learn from a lot of these – I need to put this on a wall of my house to remind everyone in my household (including me) of them.

    I will say that one more needs to be added. “Give up your envy of others. Some people have different things than you. You, however, don’t see what they are missing that you have. Each person has their own gifts and challenges, don’t compare yours to someone else.”

  • Jay

    t his is a horrible article, a bunch of ultra generic rules to live by – let go of your fears? what kind of a stupid article will just write that – this author is lazy and created a list of the most generic things one should be doing without any actual help or guidelines to achieving any of them. useless.

  • Tom Rapoza

    Sounds like Jedi philosophy!!

  • DMG

    Excellent list. # 14 is the most important and the hardest but most satisfying.

  • Joe

    Give up living your life bases on someone else’s random list.

  • dave

    Easier said than done; but very wise indeed.

  • Tanja Jespersen

    Good advices. But one really important thing is missiong, before it will ever be possible, and that is Jesus. Only in him the true hapiness exists!

    1. Be himble, because Jesus humbled himself for you. That’s why you need to always be right.

    2. Give up control because God has the control. Trust him!

    3. Don’t blame others, but search forgiveness for your own debt at the cross of Jesus and after that you can search to share that forgiveness with others.

    4. Don’t listen to the lies of the devil, but listen to God’s true voice of love!

    5. Believe that God can do the impossible!

    6. Don’t complain, but focus on all the blessings God has given you and be thankful.

    7. Don’t criticize others. We are all created in the image of God. We are all equal to him!

    8. Be yourself. God has created you just as you are, and he loves you!

    9. Led God lead your path!

    10. Don’t reject God before you found out who he is!

    11. Fear is very real. First of all fear the almighty God. He has the power, so you don’t have to fear anything else.

    12. Don’t’ listen to your own lies. Listen to God’s voice of truth!

    13. Give up your past because Jesus died for it, and is offering you forgiveness!

    14. Be attached to only God. The solid rock you can lean on!

    15. Live your life to God’s expectations. He created you. He loves you. He knows you. He’s plan is for you to be truly happy in him!

  • Tanja Jespersen

    (sorry made some few mistakes in the former text that I just corrected)

    Good advices. But one really important thing is missing, before it will ever be possible, and that is Jesus. Only in him the true happiness exists!

    1. Be humble, because Jesus humbled himself for you. That’s why you don’t need to always be right.

    2. Give up control because God has the control. Trust him!

    3. Don’t blame others, but search forgiveness for your own debt at the cross of Jesus and after that you can search to share that forgiveness with others.

    4. Don’t listen to the lies of the devil, but listen to God’s true voice of love!

    5. Believe that God can do the impossible!

    6. Don’t complain, but focus on all the blessings God has given you and be thankful.

    7. Don’t criticize others. We are all created in the image of God. We are all equal to him!

    8. Be yourself. God has created you just as you are, and he loves you!

    9. Let God lead your path!

    10. Don’t reject God before you’ve found out who he is!

    11. Fear is very real. First of all fear the almighty God. He has the power, so you don’t have to fear anything else.

    12. Don’t’ listen to your own lies. Listen to God’s voice of truth!

    13. Give up your past because Jesus died for it, and is offering you forgiveness!

    14. Be attached to only God. The solid rock you can lean on!

    15. Live your life to God’s expectations. He created you. He loves you. He knows you. His plan is for you to be truly happy in him!

  • David Jackson

    At the risk of sounding cruel…

    To Katica. We all make mistakes but should not chastise ourselves for them. Learn the lesson, change your path and then forget it. You can’t change the past, so don’t spend time and emotion punishing yourself for it. Just vow to make a better future for yourself.

  • Great advice!

  • rob

    Dear Katica – 13 is not impossible. It is hard, and it will take a lot of work, but it is not impossible. Maybe you should read all the items a bunch of times. You can get your happiness back. You are not terrible. You’re not a “crybaby” because you shared some emotion and feelings. I am rooting and hoping and praying for you. Can you root and hope and pray for yourself too? You are loved.

  • It’s very nice to share the wisdom but it’s also nice to mention the source of this post… So if you don’t mind… 🙂


  • Alex

    Attachment is a difficult one. For how can you love someone and care about them passionately without some sort of attachment… If you truly had no attachment then you would feel no loss if they died or had an affair which caused your relationship to breakup. Anyone who says that they can love someone without attachment is either lying, dead of Buddha. And Buddha was a meat eating human being who claimed to have attained the ultimate state. But he was still human and therefore had a attachment. Basically, if you have no attachment at all, then you are not human.

  • Ginny

    If you gave up all those things, you’d stop being….anything.
    You have to be attached to something.
    You have to remember and understand the past.
    And if YOU don’t have control of your life, someone else will control it for you.
    Some are good. Don’t always argue a point…even if you’re right.
    Stop being afraid of trying new things.
    Stop blaming others and get moving on your own.

    Start by trying to figure out who you are and what you stand for.

  • Perfect. This is exactly what I needed to read, and to read again tomorrow, and the next day. Wonderful advice, some much easier to do than the others, but it’s time to start the journey.

  • natalie

    Yeah! Don’t criticize anyone or anything that’s bad and unhealthy! It will never lead to progress! I think this article is dumb, none of them are healthy in excess of course but almost all are necessary to be free, independent, and functional.. not to mention human nature and some of the “things” are ways our brains organize things which is impossible to escape.

  • I always had a mini-celebration when I got to be right!!!Married 25 years…Also, many of the suggestions bring to mind the prayer used in the AA program…

  • anon

    i’d love to see the original author credited for this…

  • Bruce

    I agree with # 14 for everyone except me. I will fall on my sword and help save you all by relieving you of your attachment to money (wire transfer instructions to follow).

  • This is something that everyone of us need to be reminded for. 15 very good things to kick out from our life to keep us who we are. May our Good God help us to kick out this habits. Thanks to all who wrote it.

  • Trent

    Katica…NOTHING is impossible. We have all made mistakes, the key is to learn, grow, and move forward.

  • Daisy Dacanay

    I like the way you describe life..seems everythong is positive a.d possible…happiness and contentment can be traced in each word you say…BTW…isn’t those hands belong to my schitzy friend and her hubby???
    Love you guys..keep inspiring other people.

  • Dom

    Good but very subjective.

  • Tim

    Right. But painfully difficult to do.

  • Bob

    On the contrary, John. Number 14 is the truest, most powerful item on the list. Almost all pain comes from attachment. Attachment is a corruption of Love.

  • A.S.M Sarwar Zahan

    this article will very much helpful for me and all whom are want to be happy. thanks.

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  • June Hashim

    This is wisdom at its peak. I know someone whom I believe is the most ungrateful unhappy person on the face of this earth and guess what? She has all 15 negative ions. No kidding! Sadly.

  • The two key words here…….
    GIVE UP !
    Not in my life…

  • Well written and always wonderful reminders on how we can all succeed in life.

  • Campeador

    Give up… But do not give up!

  • PJ

    Always love stuff like this!
    There is ALWAYS something to be HAPPY about!


  • Greg

    These are some very wise and powerful words… I stumbled on some of these ideas by myself a few short years ago while trying to put my life (and mt families lives) back together after losing everything… I had some of the lowest points in my life then and realized that I should live every day as if it were my last, love everyone in my life AND SHOW THEM,be a better person by not worrying about stuff that doesnt matter, forgetting the past(good and bad) and finally giving up on trying to be perfect and instead give up control and just live, do, and be!

    It can sometimes be hard not to backslide into my old ways of thinking, but with my loved ones here to remind me and now with this wonderful list to keep it fresh, life can and will be good everyday, CAUSE WE ONLY HAVE TODAY.

  • Mr. D

    Agree with all except 15. If you start pursuing your desires you will end up nowhere.

  • The theme here seems to be living your authentic self, guided by your ability to self-assess. While it is probably impossible to “give up” all 15 items listed, even focusing on a few that cause strife, would be a great start. Change is challenging. By approaching it one small step at a time, it’s more likely that you will follow through and experience success.

    Of all the ones listed, the one that stands out the most for me is giving up the need for control (#2) or letting go. It’s a process that I work on regularly. When I’ve been successful in achieving that, it’s a win win all around. One thing that has helped me more recently is a concept used in the coaching. It’s called NCRW (Naturally Resourceful Creative and Whole.) It’s a way of viewing ourselves and others. When we view others in this light, we are better able to let go of that control or need to fix everything. When we view ourselves that way, we give ourselves the confidence to know that we can figure things out.

  • Steve

    I agree with most points, even though there is a very thin line between a lot of the points above. Letting go of what has been part of one’s life is probably the hardest task, but living today and looking forward to tomorrow is definitely the best way forward. Life isn’t easy and it is true that only we can make it better for ourselves. Having an open mind towards life itself and the world (incl. other people, things we don’t understand, accept, etc.) makes us better people overall. It is also true that in today’s world this is not an easy task…we are bombarded daily by messages regarding what we should be, what we should wear, eat, possess, etc., but when we have all this we realize that maybe what we have does not really relate with what we need. I, for one, am trying to work on all of this. I know it is not easy, that it does require work, but I’m trying to get to a stage where I can be happy with what I am, regardless of what life decides to throw at me

  • hello!,I love your writing so so much! share we keep up a correspondence more about your post on AOL?
    I require a specialist in this house to resolve
    my problem. Maybe that is you! Looking ahead to see you.

  • Deb

    What a great article! Kudos to the author for putting this together. Like Brandie stated in her comment, this makes me want to explore this deeper on my own blog (and of course post a link to this inspirational post)

  • kim erikson

    Seems so simple, but it might take a few lifetimes to master these.

  • Hi there, after reading this awesome post i am as well happy to share my knowledge here with mates.

  • Ray

    wow i have a hard time just trudging along and there’s not a single useful piece of advice here. it really seems like the writer left out some very basic and universal stuff.

  • Bret Jenkins

    For those who find this list problematic, emember that this is a process, a journey of life. We don’t have to do it perfectly. And we need to stop letting the perfect get in the way of the good.

  • karen

    I will never give up 6 and 7…..without these there will never been any meaningful change in this world…..Nice feel good article, but I am willing to criticize and fight for what I believe in…..being the change I want to see in the world.

  • Cynic

    All that is much is easier said than done.
    And it demeans those in situations when “just do it” truly is not possible.

  • Jacob Kaweck

    These are wise words from a wise man who has obviously sat on his couch all of his life and never met any of the goals he set for himself. Way to live life as a sociopathic loser.

  • Sarah

    Absolutely awesome article!

  • chris bridge

    I have problems keeping my stress under con trollwith my m.s. any helping words out there l will be reading this articaloften

  • Eduarda Fernandes

    Great advises and difficult to follow, the world would be a different place if everyone would succeeded all of them!!!
    About the past, No.13, this one I strongly refuse it! T.H. Lawrence said: time present and time past are both perhaps present in time future, and time future contained in time past…
    I think that Man usually forgets the past and repeats over and over the same mistakes in History

  • Alan

    This is an interesting read and for a nearly sublime example of the simplistic approach to life, it’s perfect. Reality is that most women will probably have nothing but difficulty with at least 12 of these, but could do 3 perfectly well. The 3 would change for every single one. My wife would fail at all of them.

    John, 14 isn’t exactly wrong, but it’s written as a bit of a fairytale. It’s human to form attachments in life. I think the important thing is to not let attachments control you. When you do, they’ll only drag you down.

  • Dorian Valles

    Have to print this out! Fantastic…thank you,

  • I’ve read several excellent stuff here. Certainly worth bookmarking for revisiting. I surprise how much effort you place to create one of these magnificent informative web site.

  • Dan

    This whole list is designed to lead the lost right into the slaughter.

  • Adam

    @ John…please read article again…..

  • Bob Grinager

    Good advice. All of us need to use these to make our lives better. Thank you for reminding me that I should be part of the solution and not the problem.

  • Sonia

    This is just like an article from Marc and Angel Hack Life. If that’s where you got it from you should give proper credit to them.

  • Marie-Christine

    Good luck with that!
    They are good daily reminders but we are human after all and will never be perfect.

  • Karen

    Number 4 would be my greatest challenge.

  • Lyn

    I have a problem with 13!!! All those soldiers and others working through PTSD!!!The past doesn’t look good to these people. It was a living hell for a lot of us. Thank you.

  • Renee

    Could never give up the past….and I did not ignore it. My daughter died and I will always remember and relive those days I had with her!

  • Ryan

    This is one of the more worthless pieces I’ve ever read. I want the last 1 min of my life back. I actually feel dumber from reading this…Come on people lets start publishing more quality material. There are a few valid points here but for the most part this is nothing but redundant partially thought out crap.

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  • Nice. But somehow I feel most of the points you mentioned. No doubt that they are all great, but some are really close. Like give up the past and give up attachments are very close in general sense as most strong attachments we have is with our past. Also the things that we are attached to currently had a history due to which we are attached to them.

    Like the point 3 and 6 are so so same. If you stop blaming … you will stop complaining and will start taking responsibilities.

    Maybe am getting too critical .. 😛 … anyway great job!!

    keep writing … writing is fun … 🙂

  • jon

    some of these have merit…most is just self defeatist dribble and hogwash. This author needs to read some of the works from Miyamoto Musashi.

    When you “Give up your need to always be right” you give up trying to strive for being the best…you settle for second best

    When you “Give up your need for control” you allow someone else to have control of your life

    When you “Give up your limiting beliefs ” you forget how to understand realistic goals and understand limitations

    When you “Give up the luxury of criticism” you give up the need to analyze…by the way, self criticism sometimes goes a long way

    When you “Give up your resistance to change” you sometimes give up the reality that some things just dont need to change. not all change is good, it depends on how you work it

    When you “Give up on your fears” you give in to facing lifes challenges. dont give up on fear, learn to face it and conquer it…that is what FDR meant.

    When you “Give up the past” you are doomed to repeat it. Look forward, but keep an eye on days gone by.

    When you “Give up attachment” you give up being able to love because part of love *is* attachment and learning where one starts and the other begins. There are things worth letting go of and much worth fighting for.

  • Ly

    Attachment is to cling. It is singular and parasitic.

    Connectedness is to have mutual feelings. It is balanced and allows freedom.

  • Great article! I think trying to find the good in things is helpful too. Wherever there’s a negative, there’s always a positive 🙂

  • I strongly disagree with “1. Give up your need to always be right.” – it makes so much sense to correct peoples wrong beliefs – even to put friendships at risks. False beliefs can kill… We all know that
    Of course, sometimes, in the end, YOU are the one to be wrong, but even that is worth the risk.
    hahaha btw. what a selfreferential comment this is to statement 1 😉

    OK, after having read the rest i must say, except for 3 or 4 rules, it’s pretty much bullshit. the author clearly has no clue about real life and how society and psychobiology works

  • Elsie Bouwman

    Better still: “I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me. I do not set aside the grace of God; for if righteousness comes through the law, then Christ died in vain.” (Galations 2: 20,21) “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law. And those who are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit” (Galations 5:22-25)

  • I love this!

    The day I stopped caring so much what people thought surprised me with the liberating feeling that spread through me. The disappointed look I may get sometimes just doesn’t seem to phase me as it once did. As long as my decisions are aligned with my inner purpose, I’m quite content to smile right back.

  • I find their commitment to health in a balanced and pro-active means.
    For other gift ideas and more exotic versions. There’s no use getting a relaxing sensual massage you might fall asleep during the session, unless there is discomfort by either party. For older kids, acupuncture is a good idea to do a fair amount this summer already, and have predictive patterns of referred pain. They are extremely popular, and since they have someone near to these.

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  • Great advice

  • Les

    The minute you Give Up most of these things, is the exact moment in life that you quit caring. You are NOT giving up your “need” to be right or for control, you are giving up on things you believe in and are allowing others to force their idea of reality on you! I have my beliefs, all of them are solid, grounded and proven. I will not entertain anybody’s perceived “right” to feed me their line of BS that is not inline with mine without taking the opportunity to educate them with my beliefs. That being said, I do agree with points 5 and 9 insomuch that people who do not even try, get in the way of the rest of us and those are many of the same people who resist change in lieu of comfort. This article is for the weak, the gullible and easily manipulated. Those who need this article are sheeple who will cower under the table while a gunman systematically slaughters everyone in the building…or until a person such as myself takes a chair leg and ends the madness. Perhaps that should be the 16th point…”Do not be a sheeple.”

  • Oh the Christians are not going to happy with this list…

  • Julie

    Who wrote this? I want to give them a big hug!

  • Looks like someone read Psycho Cybernetics.

  • Garold Stone

    Or, in short, just Give Up experiencing the world only as “I” or “Mine” (Zen).

  • Great article! Such good advice. It’s hard to make major changes all at once, but small changes over time will lead to big results in a year! Just work on one thing at a time. I posted two blog series that relate to these…”tips to a happier you” and “make a change mondays” …here are the links if you’d like to check them out!

  • Rhea Tard


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  • sudesh jain

    I think everybody understands these things but difficult to
    change yourself and the script written in infancy, only thing can be achieved is by training yourself to adopt these principles

  • Diane

    Wow, really profound and bang on target content. READ IT A FEW TIMES TO SINK IT IN..

  • Wow! So many concepts that have made a huge diff in my life, tho I needed too many crisis’s to finally be open to it all by 56, better late to evolve that never! 🙂 now ill be happy for the rest of my life at least, that could be 30 more years! Yay! Celebrate change!!!! Paul

  • D. Danks

    This article fails to cite the author. It looks like it might be hidden under comments. That’s not right, please correct!

  • Trish Joseph

    Impossible to do No.6 and still shop at TESCO

  • Gayle

    Being a parent you need some control when your kids are growing up or kids will go crazy around the house, so there has to be some kind of limits set on them. Its great to let kids be kids, but let them do it outside the house. Like not letting kids walk on the couch, spill something w/o cleaning it up, not teaching your kids to be quiet when their parents are talking, etc etc

    One thing that needs to change are males who wear their pants under their butt…what a disgrace to society and themselves!

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  • Rasitha Perera

    Great article! Btw, all 15 of these, especially #14. Give up attachment, are “Therawada” buddhist teachings.

  • Mechel

    As I began reading I also began crying.This went straight to my soul,because I’m sad to say that all of this applies to me.I don’t know how it happened,I know I didn’t always have this outlook on life because if I had I don’t think I would still be married to the same awesome man for 25 yrs and I wouldn’t have great children.Two of my children are still quite young and I know it’s affecting their outlook on life which even makes me more sad.I just don’t see any light in my tunnel.I’m 46 and I have wished so many times to just never wake up but if you knew the real me like I did you’d know that I really don’t mean that.I often wish I was in space just floating around and never touching down.

  • Rob

    These sound like Yoda-isms!

  • Shannon

    I feel as though whoever write this had one hell of an experience with their in-laws. This is everything and more you wish you could get through to closed off in-laws.

  • Inge

    Number 14 happens only when you have left this world. Until then, no one understands all things and are not meant, too. Life is a learning process-some are better at it than others.

  • Jake

    What a joke. Since when does this count as journalism? “You will get to a state where you can understand all things without even trying”? Is that supposed to make sense to any rational being? The first couple of tips seemed ok to me on their surface, but honestly, the whole article was a lot of mumbo jumbo. We are all now stupider for having read this article.

  • None

    No offense, but the vast majority of this article is a bunch of feel-good, New Age crap. Most of this “advice” won’t really cut it the mustard in the real world, where we actually have to deal with people criticizing us.

  • Lizzi

    This makes absolute sense. So much so, that it is frightening! I need to read this every day…..study it and think about each one and how I can put this into practice.

  • Magnus the Red

    Master Yoda’s continuation of the Jedi Code?

  • ChesterCheese

    This is a great article. Well done.

    If I may make a suggestion for a follow up…how to implement it into your life – that’s what I always have trouble with…maybe I need to tattoo some statements to my hands, then I won’t forget!

  • Bill

    Yup, that’s it. Do nothing and give up on your critical faculties and become a mindless, pointless zombie.

  • Tammy Nystrom

    These are basically what St. Francis of Assisi taught.

  • Eliot W. Collins

    I thought that this would be a list of possessions for one to give up in order to become happy. Some of my possessions are truly a burden.

  • Mike

    I’m picking up some Anthony De Mello especially 14. Awareness awareness awareness

  • Ruthie

    Great article! Who is the author?

  • kristine

    i think i will always read these as a life reminder. Thanks to the author and the quotes you putted on appeared so correlated with the topic. So nice and brilliant.

  • Bob

    This is shit.

  • Reyna Elena

    #1 is anti-american.

  • The Hopeless Romantic

    But, what if
    I m always right and would rather educate the misguided with constructive criticism so they don’t run around and embarass themselves all over again?

  • E

    All of these are so easily said and so impossibly done.

  • Romana

    I have so many to work on…I think there might be many more things that if we can let go off we may find ourselves living more in the here and now and in a state of contentment. One that I am working on is to give up desiring – to struggle with wanting, wanting the love ave affection from someone who may be withholding, wanting recognition and validation, wanting more peace and contentment even…all desires and hence attachment. To accept what we have right now, what we are doing, who we are, who we are with, etc and not constantly wanting and desiring…what a difficult task that is.

  • Snowshoe

    While I like a lot of the points and feel that I do try to practice at least some of them, I think they collectively represent someone who behaves somewhat selfishly. They may make for a very good person spiritually, but they probably make for quite a poor partner, particularly if that partner is a man.

    Also, “give up” is another way of saying “change yourself”. In my experience, coming to terms with oneself and being honest about our flaws and limitations brings a certain balance to life, whereas attempts by me or others to reshape me according to some other set of ideals has enjoyed partial success at best.

    I’m far from perfect, yet I’m relatively happy with myself. I like the posting, yet I don’t feel that I need a 15 point overhaul to be happier. I just need to keep making small gains that reinforce the good at the expense of the bad.

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  • Stan

    We would rather be ruined than changed. We would rather die in our dread than climb the cross of the moment and let our illusions die.

  • Chris H

    Excellent! This is really good stuff! Love #15 most of all.

  • Great article, but #12 was not FDR, who never had a good idea in his life, it was Winston Churchill.

  • Pedro Honey

    50 rules to make you a passive aggressive white person. just fucking give up your love for money and getting everything you want. Really happiness is fleeting, you can’t always be happy. There are millions of people living is squalor, fuck your first world problems.

  • nik

    all of these are the truth.

    so, commenters, if you disagree with one of them, you’re just not ready. but don’t worry, you will be, and then you will find this list, in one form or another.

    it is a great list. personally I understand 14 and I agree with it, but it’s the thing I probably struggle with most.

  • Anne

    Got another to add to the list. Give up worrying. I don’t know how I did it, but one day I decided I needed to stop, and it’s been the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Sure, you can’t stop worrying about EVERYTHING all the time (sometimes things come up and get a little out of hand), but letting the little things go and relaxing a bit about things really takes a weight off of your shoulders.

  • Sal

    What about giving up giving up? That’s probably worthwhile. I guess that means this article doesn’t apply to me.

  • Anonymous

    That seems like a weird picture to go with this article. Give up attachments, give up living your life to other people’s expectations, and then a picture of two peoples’ hands clasped together? Is anyone else thinking they just told us to give that up?

  • I do not agree with number 13. The present is not the only thing a person “has”. You can live in the past because of your “memories”. This becomes very important to you, and can make you very happy when a “loved one” dies. You can always have that person in your memory in your past to make you happy. And it’s funny how memory is, it usually softens the bad characteristics of a loved one. Obviously, the person writing this article isn’t elderly.either. Most elderly people like to be able to remember when they looked good and felt good, instead of facing the reality of the present which is depressing.

  • Raine Pye

    Sprinkle me with diamonds and call me gayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

  • brownin329

    …give up on being human? no thanks.

  • Milos

    a fantastic list, i was taught these things by my mentor and they have made me much happier and i think the most important for me was 14, that made the biggest difference as it was one i wasnt doing.

  • Jimbo

    Hint of the Buddhist teachings – time to relook more seriously at these concepts. Emerson did.

  • Simon Ross

    Basically the moral here is to give up! 🙂

  • soooo, what ur really tryin’ to say is GIVE UP FACEBOOK!!! lmfuckingao 😛

    • Ginger

      To follow this advice in today’s society would be to completely devoid oneself of all consciousness. Don’t give a crap about what’s happening in YOUR world; don’t try to make it better – screw the hungry; don’t criticize those (think politicians) messing with your rights, just keep happily voting them back into office; don’t try to analyze why someone (you love?) is acting sad or hurt – not part of the happiness plan; don’t blame those poisoning your drinking water with chemicals – they’re just trying to make a (happy)living; don’t worry about what others think about you – just let your pants hang to your knees and your underwear show at your next job interview – that CEO will be happy to hire you; etc., etc., etc.,; what the hell, just slip into a coma – what could be more serene?

  • Rachel

    FAR easier said than done. I totally disagree with 14- love needs and will always feel attachment. We can’t just ‘let go’ as you ask. Be a little more realistic with your advice.

    • Valerie

      Number 14 is very much true. I think you misunderstood.
      Letting go of attachments does not mean not wanting to be with a significant other.

      It means not needing to be with them.

      You find happiness within yourself first, find a way to love yourself first. Only then will you be able to love someone else. That way, you don’t need them to love you, to feel your worth, you are aware of it from within… if that makes any sense.

      These are the basic teachings from buddism. While I don’t really follow any religion (i believe religion is something completely detached from spiritualism), I find that Buddism has a basic truth to it, that anybody can benefit from, religious/spiritual or not.

    • Trevor

      I believe you may benefit from rereading #6 and #7…

    • Taylor

      Attachment is a normal part of relationships, and helps people feel connected. But that isn’t exactly what is described, so I think perhaps a different word or a modifier is needed; may I suggest “insecure attachment?” That is indeed something born out of fear and anxiety, whereas normal attachment is perfectly healthy and can very much coexist with love.

  • Awesome article well worth sharing. Thanks

  • Dee

    I hope and pray that before i die I get to this place of serenity. I am the cause of my problems in life, I am the only one who can change my life. The problem is in the mirror!

    can not go back, can only move forward.

  • This is a great expansion of the Four Agreements: 1) Be impeccable with your word, 2) Don’t take anything personally, 3) Don’t make assumptions, and 4) Always do your best. I am looking forward to seeing how many of these I can include in my day. Imagine how free I can be!

  • Ken

    I’m pretty solid on about 11 of these… working on 3, one I’m ambivalent about… 🙂

  • garth

    This list is very useful for me and I feel like it can help me a lot. However, there are some points on this list that I cannot completely give up, as it would compromise who I am. I don’t mean to criticize you, I’m just saying that everyone is different and these things won’t necessarily work for everyone. With that said, I really think this article is a good outline and I will try everything on it!

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  • david

    This is great. It would be a great idea for a rewrite for corporate life… 🙂

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  • Dan

    Delusional advice. Some of it is good, and perhaps all of it is good if you leverage it sparingly, because these things are what define our personality and drive. They are indeed who we are. removing them to a degree means you have given up on yourself, and on others.

    • Rob Akscyn

      I agree with Dan — and here is my take. For me (now 65), I have found life is much more nuanced, than what can be captured in boasty sound bites; they have a nice zing, but the true picture is often much more subtle. The art of life (I respectfully submit) is progressively gaining experience to acquire the wisdom to use judgement in each and every particular situation (versus a handy-dandy, quick-and-move-on-ey rule). There is a seed crystal of truth in all of the prescriptions, but at the limit, when used in an un-examinedly, big-man-on-campus swagger — it’s also an instruction manual for how to develop an anti-social personality disorder and in the process lose the wonderousness of being human.

    • Sharon

      Dan, these are the things that define our ego, not our soul, which is why giving them up is so difficult. The ego doesn’t want to die, to go away. But it must, if the soul is to emerge. I guess you need to decide what defines you – the ego of your personality? Or your soul? Which would you want?

  • snarfdog

    Give up paying off my 75000 in student loans. that would make me happy. How about I just give up?

    • Howard Dangelo

      Education @ high price/high value teaches People to become problem solvers with logical Enthusiasm, so here’s to social, financial solutions, full or partial sustainable Solutions, toward $75k since We r the People!

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  • Margaret

    Let there be LIGHT. . . . The trick is being personally open to such ideas.

  • strider

    Point 14 – give up attachment is poorly defined.
    There is attachment relating to human interaction and attachment from Zen teachings.

    Zen teachings say…
    When you stop trying to grasp, own, and control the world around you, you give it the freedom to fulfill you without the power to destroy you. That’s why letting go is so important: letting go is letting happiness in.

    Attachment theory says
    The failure to form a secure attachment with someone who cares for you has been linked to a number of problems

    You don’t want to learn how to not be attached; you want to learn how to love without control.

    Attachment and love do and should co-exist.

  • Jake

    So, basically, in order to be happy I should accept failure, abandon progress, and embrace mediocrity?

  • J Renee

    I hope to remember this every day.

  • Paul True

    All this is merely a partial description of the human condition.
    It is hubris to suggest that it be changed so easily. You might be able to rearrange the symptoms but, without truly understanding the nature of the cause I’m just playing games. “When you finally stop chasing the shadow of your real Self, and you turn around, you will see that the Sun has been behind you all the time.” Sri Nisargadatta.

  • Chris Burnett

    I really like #14, give up on attachment. I am a divorced man, 61, who lives with my 26-year-old adult son. He relocated and moved back in with me after he found it tough to live on his own without a college education and marketable skills. I have to resist being attached to him, or not wanting to let him go. I need to let him grow, to leave me, even if that leaves me alone and without anyone to care for me when as I get older. But I have to do it for him, and for me, too. It certainly doesn’t mean I don’t love him.

  • pravin

    Let me share my nimble thots here…

    Lets say someone actually fits these 15 points – an ideal case. Mathematically, we could represent this as a vertical line that passes thru all 15 points thru 0. For each of these points lets say there’s a -5 and +5 to the left and right of the 0 (x axis).

    Human beings are born to be different from each other. Therefore, each of us could be a -ve or +ve value on either side of 0. for e.g. someone could be a -5 on #11 whereas +3 on #3. So a non-ideal person as per the author’s prescription here can be mathematically represented as a zig-zag line – as when a child is told to draw a vertical line (and some adults too :)).

    To get to my interpretation. What I make out of the author’s advice is for everybody to get to 0 on all the 15 points to be the perfect happy person, which would result in each person becoming same as the person beside. Then, where is the question of individuality ? Also someone who fits this vertical line thru 0 in my opinion would be a “saintly” figure.

    What I would say, is

    1) Individually, try to get away from the extremes and tend to bring the number as much towards the 0.

    2) When this concerns 2 individuals, try to reduce the gap between the numbers when it concerns 1 particular point for e.g. if the husband happens to be a -5 in #11 and spouse a +5, then each tries to reduce the gap to as less a value as possible to reduce conflicts w.r.t this point and thereby secure a happier future overall. These adjustments in numbers can be transitional too and not necessarily permanent.

    Please feel free to debate.

  • Geo

    My take away is love is ethereal, beyond the physical.

    Yes, the ever eternal struggle is to try to find peace now.

    I believe we must face our “shadows”, the good the bad rhe ugly. To accept, deal with, embrace and let them go, to be free to receive the present, which dictates our future.

    This cannot be done alone. Self will will only take you so far. We need each other to release our deepest negative fears, which speaks to the need for meaningful deep honest relationships.

    My need for these peeps are are priceless and necessary for my sanity. My need for my God even more, because He in His Word, the Bible, states truth that acts as my guideposts to living this life He has given me.

    I believe #14 speaks to co-dependency, which is never healthy for anyone over 21. lol

    That’s my 2 cents!


  • mike alester bistal

    number 13 is impossible…our happiness is based how beautiful our past was and my childhood and my past is who I am ad where I am today. I have a lot of thing to be thankful for the past, my present and my prayers I utter so that God will be always with me…I made mistake too, I never hesitate to say “I am sorry”…yes I have regrets but everything has its own reason, time isn’t always about happiness, it tells us how to be strong and a lot more to learn in order for us to search, find and experience happiness our way…but thanks I read the article…and really has an impact to me…

  • Chris

    I like this advice, and I like its directness. I did notice typos. If this site is hiring an editor I’ll be happy to do that. Not to fall into the habit of what #7 suggests. I do my best to follow this every day as general rules. It comes more naturally for some than others, so it’s always best to be patient with yourself.

  • After losing my beloved Shi-Tzu Pockets, I mourned for her almost a year, then I saw a movie “The Life of Pi”and learned a very difficult lesson. THE WHOLE OF LIFE BECOMES THE ACT OF LETTING GO.
    We all must go through it and it isn’t easy….

  • What a great list; truly inspiring. There are just so many good things that would come from these changes in attitudes and behaviors. Can you imagine if the world was based on THESE principles and not greed, war, religious intolerance and selfishness.

  • Rolex44

    Wayne Dyer has a better version.

  • BCWiessner

    None of these words really mean anything in 2013… These are platitudes emptied of truth by repetition. Let’s be concrete rather than comforting. It is disappointing to see over half a million people share a piece that lacks grounding and repeatedly quote Wayne Dyer. I wish we could all be a little more careful with words, use them to be more direct and honest. Seems like that could help us all be happier.

    • One Love

      Thank you, AC Wiessner, for allowing us the opportunity to learn by providing us an example of #10. ………. And I suppose we both could work on #7. (Smile and Hug) 🙂

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  • A D

    Wish i could even achieve one of these. This article is really inspirational. But i cant even achieve one. Sigh

    • Jean

      Yes, you can… but not all at once. Change takes effort, and it takes “time”…Do you know what “time” takes? ….Time takes time. You re giving yourself negative self-talk. The key word I live by is TRY. Read “Just for Today” … Today I will TRY to live for this day only and not tackle all my problems at once. Today I will “TRY” … AND SO ON. You are worth the effort.

    • Thomas

      I guess for now 4. is the one you need more than the others, you should keep on it 🙂

  • Anna

    I agree with most of these thinga and I am currently working them to be happier. I have issues with #6 and #7. While I do believe is essential to focus on the postive aspects of life and not worry about every single detail of every moment; I feel psychologically it is neccesary to release feelings of anger, saddness, and frustration. Many problems I have experienced myself and have seen within close family and friends of mine stem from feelings long repressed in fear of starting a fight or being “negative”. I know I’m breaking #7 but isn’t critical thinking and not treating everything as Gospel part of educating one’s self and being happier?

    • Anna

      Oh, and this belief that nothing can make you feel something unless you allow it to….I agree with that to certain extent, but there are are circumstances that are out of your control and invoke an emotional response no one should ever feel guilty of…such as the loss of a loved one.

  • Thursenblut

    so to sum it up:

    1. stop giving a fuck
    2. open your mind

    oh and one thing: if you are not attached to it, you don’t love it

  • daniel

    Just give up completely. Most of this advice is twee hippy garbage. If you want the rats to win the rat race , the corporate criminals to wage total war and destroy the planet just go along with it. If you want to be aware and appreciate the good while rejecting the bad , just follow your own good judgement and common sense. This stuff above is mushy brain sludge for goofs. Bah !

  • Julie

    16. Should be give up on a job that is not fulfilling.

  • Whitney B.

    Great advice. Too bad it’s completely impossible for any human being to give these things up. No matter what.

  • SD

    I read the article liked it everything was good and then I get to the end and there are two people a man and woman holding hands and it just reinforces that I can’t do any of those things without someone else. The person I love so very much has gone and I hurt everyday and when I try to move past it it seems in subtle and direct ways I am reminded I don’t have a hand to hold 🙁

    • Bren Raj

      SD….The other hand is God’s.

  • Becca

    If you aren’t satisfied with this list, or you want more concrete ways to improve your life, I suggest ‘The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People’ by Steven Covey. There are also kids and teens versions. Very practical applications, some of them the same types of ‘letting go’ seen here. Timeless and applicable to everyone, in any stage of life, in any profession. Check it out.

  • wish i can achieve all of these..
    i’ll try my best to be happy through this article..

  • Alfie

    16. Give up reading bollocks like this…
    Example:’no situation can make you sad or miserable unless you allow it to’ – so the death of a loved one or diagnosis of terminal illness shouldn’t leave you feeling just a little bit pissed off?

    It’s just a smug, trite meaningless list

  • Bill Jobs

    Kirk: Damn it, Bones, you’re a doctor. You know that pain and guilt can’t be taken away with a wave of a magic wand. They’re the things we carry with us, the things that make us who we are. If we lose them, we lose ourselves. I don’t want my pain taken away! I need my pain!

  • JPB

    My favorite person sent this to me, and already my eyes opend up so much… Thanks to her, I could now work on something that is valid, and makes since to work on living a happier life. She was god sent, and I know it, so I feel blessed with eye openers like this. Love you AJB!!!

  • Beth Kinney

    No wonder my 38 year old daughter is so selfish and chose to crap on her family for her own selfis desires.
    Not saying much of this is not good. But it’s not all realistic.

  • Carol

    I need to print this out and pin it on the wall. Some points can be and is worked on while others are idealistic. We ARE human and we are all on our journey in life. The past lets us remember how far we have come and need to go. Also, I don’t really fancy being a fearless being. i don’t buy the ‘living without fear’ mantra. A few fears is good and healthy. Again, it’s what makes us unique and human, no?

  • Rick D.

    Give up looking to others for guidance. Like 15 things to make your life happy.

  • Shirley

    This “list” is suggestion for you to work on every day of your life or the remainder. So very politely, there are no quick-fix-pill. The “list” basically says, “Let go of your past sufferings, move onward, and start living now. We have a very short time on earth, so choose to be happy. Remember there’s lots of people on this planet that are in very poor health, no food and no shelter. And—just having those 3 basic items would make them “happy”.

  • Load of tosh.alot of it is relevent to me at the moment but to change would need a new life,family and friends!!!!

  • kevin

    so .. what i see in this article is, orders to subject your life to capitalism be happy and go with what the government do weather it is completely insane’ or not ? like the state of our country and the high tax and vat. this is a brain wash” like shut up and do as your told.
    only weak minded people will subject to this rubbish. i want to live my life not just exist and you can only exist with a government that want’s total control over the people and the country. it is impossible to be happy when you are surrounded by lies’ corruption ‘ and negative people and surrounding’s.

  • WOW! It just so happens all of these principles are in my new book, The Teenager Compass’, Just framed in different ways. This post is spot on!

  • John Thomas

    The most important thing to give up, though, isn’t on the list, and that is to give up on hearing criticism in everything your loved ones say to you. It might also be phrased as give up on being easily offended by your loved ones.

  • Jough

    How come it’s 13 points now, and all the comments are talking about 15 points? How did we lose two?

  • Tawny

    Over all the comments are very an lighten and I enjoy ready it.

  • naila


  • Person

    “4. Let go of your fears?”

    Tell that to the triskaidekaphobics.

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  • Thanks for finally talking about >13 Ways to be Happier –
    World Observer Online <Loved it!

  • Nancy

    Husbands really need to be careful of other woman outside their marriage,this was a true life story that happened to me to my own notice my sister took my husband from me the Husband whom i have love so much and promise me that no woman will take him from me but all of a sudden things turned apart if not for my friend hear in USA that told me i needed a spell caster that can cast a spell to separate them maybe by now he must have went for a divorce which could have made me commit suicide because i loved him so much likewise like him also but how things turn around was a thing that surprised me.
    I vowed that any thing it could cost me i must separate him and my elder sister i then collected the contact of this spell caster from my friend Mary she told me his name is spiritual Priest Ajigar and his email is priestajigarspells@live.com i contacted him and narrated the whole story to him he consulted and found out that my sister visited a spell caster that casted a spell that made him love her i then ask him what to do he told me that this spell needed to be broken so that my husband can leave her alone and come back to me the spell was broken and within three days he began to hate her that he even beat her up before he said to her that it is over between him and her right now my husband is with me again and take care for me like he have never done before i thank my friend Mary but i own all thanks to priest Ajigar for bringing back my husband and i therefore for advice that if you notice any strange behavior in your marriage or your boy friend or girlfriend is cheating you contact Priest Ajigar to know the root of it he will surely help you out and give an everlasting solution to it.

  • There is certainly a great deal to learn about this issue.
    I like all the points you have made.

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